Vision statement four: Where living with their family is not possible, children must stay with their brothers and sisters where safe to do so and belong to a loving home, staying there for as long as needed.
Experience
What children and young people say
This section presents the evidence through an experience lens, focusing on how children and young people described brother and sister connection. This was done using the included materials, available since 2020. Click on the take me to navigation pane and jump to different sections here, including sources
The materials reviewed highlight that relationships with brothers and sisters are profoundly important, yet separation through decisions about where children live and who they live with, imprisonment, or adoption continues to bring pain and a sense of loss. Care experienced children and young people also describe some positive experiences of opportunities for connection, shared experiences and the chance to simply be siblings again, celebrating holidays, sharing everyday moments and providing mutual support through difficult times. However, this is not true for everyone, with others describing ongoing difficulties in having their rights to sibling relationships upheld.
To see what changes Scotland is making and still has to make for the promise to be kept, click on the relationships route map in Plan 24-30. See more about the work of change across Scotland here.
- I am not with my brothers and sisters – it feels like something important is missing.
- I don’t know the next time I will get to spend time with them.
- I feel really upset when I can’t keep in touch with them.
- It feels like I'm missing out on their lives.
- I feel like a stranger to them because we don’t see each other.
Care experienced children and young people describe how separation from brothers and sisters creates deep emotional distress, often experienced as a sense of incompleteness and loss. These feelings are intensified by uncertainty about future time together and by missing everyday moments and shared experiences. When children and young people are unable to see their brothers and sisters because of decisions made by adults, they describe feeling frustrated, powerless and isolated from their family. Over time, this separation contributes to sadness, anger and a growing sense of disconnection.
- I get help to keep in touch with my brothers and sisters.
- People care about my relationship with my brothers and sisters and help us to stay together.
- I feel like my rights are being respected when people make sure I can see my brothers and sisters.
- I get to have fun with my brothers and sisters.
- It feels like things are more normal when I can spend time with them.
Children and young people described feeling supported when adults took their relationships with brothers and sisters seriously and actively helped them keep in touch. Knowing that people cared about these bonds and made sure their rights were respected created a sense of safety and belonging. Spending time together, particularly through fun and ordinary experiences, helped things feel more normal and strengthened connection. These moments provided comfort, stability and a stronger sense of identity, reinforcing children and young people’s sense of belonging.
- It feels like my caregivers don't have the resources to help me see my brothers and sisters.
- I get scared that plans will change and I won't see my brothers and sisters.
- It feels like other people’s decisions get in the way of me seeing my brothers and sisters.
- I get judged because of where my brother or sister is, like in prison.
My brother or sister isn’t getting the right support I know they need.
I get frustrated when technology fails and I can't talk to my brother or sister.
Children and young people describe anxiety and fear when barriers make it harder to maintain relationships with their brothers and sisters. These include limited resources, changes in caregiver capacity, staffing pressures and stigma linked to a brother’s or sister’s circumstances. Such barriers contribute to instability and uncertainty. Worrying about a brother’s or sister’s wellbeing, alongside practical difficulties such as technology failing, adds to the emotional pressure of trying to stay connected. Stress is heightened when decisions about spending time together are made without involving children and young people, or when planned time together is cancelled or cannot go ahead.
- I get to spend time with my brothers and sisters.
- It feels like I understand myself better when I'm with them.
- I get to be a brother or sister again.
- It feels good to celebrate special occasions together.
- I get to support my brothers and sisters and they support me.
- It feels like I'm part of a family again.
Opportunities to connect with brothers and sisters fostered a stronger sense of self and belonging. Children and young people described how shared experiences and memories helped them understand their story, history and identity. Being able to take part in everyday family roles, celebrate milestones and offer mutual support created a sense of normality and reinforces the feeling of being part of a family.
What this tells Scotland
This section draws together what the evidence reviewed shows about how experiences of relationships between brothers and sisters are felt by care experienced children and young people, and how these experiences shape identity, belonging, emotional wellbeing and stability. It is intended to be informative, helping to show why these experiences matter and why they should inform what happens next. The focus is on naming impact and consequence as described in the evidence, drawing attention to patterns that remain unresolved and where continued attention is needed.
The evidence shows that separation from brothers and sisters is experienced as a profound and enduring loss. Children and young people describe these relationships as central to their sense of family, identity and continuity. Separation is felt not only as physical distance, but as the loss of everyday time together, shared memories and the reassurance that comes from knowing brothers and sisters are part of daily life. Where connection with siblings is limited or uncertain, this sense of loss deepens over time.
Children and young people describe heightened anxiety when they do not know when they will next see or speak to their brothers and sisters, or when plans change without explanation. Uncertainty about spending time together emerges as a significant source of distress.
The evidence highlights how practical and structural barriers directly affect emotional wellbeing. Difficulties linked to resources, transport, staffing pressures or unreliable technology repeatedly disrupt time together and are experienced by children and young people as signals that these relationships are not being prioritised. This contributes to stress, frustration and disconnection
Children and young people feel more supported when adults listen to their views about relationships with their brothers and sisters and involve them in decisions. Feeling heard and having their rights respected helps reduce anxiety and builds trust. Where children and young people feel excluded from decision-making, distress increases and confidence in adults’ ability to protect these relationships is weakened.
The evidence shows that relationships between brothers and sisters play a vital role in helping children and young people feel more like themselves. Spending time together allows them to take on familiar family roles, reinforcing identity and belonging. Shared experiences, celebrations and mutual support provide continuity during periods of change.
The evidence indicates that stigma linked to a brother’s or sister’s circumstances, including imprisonment, adds an additional layer of strain. Feeling judged or misunderstood because of what a brother or sister is experiencing can make it harder to stay connected and increases isolation for children and young people.
Where relationships between brothers and sisters are supported and sustained, the evidence points to a stabilising effect. Even limited but reliable opportunities to spend time together help children and young people feel more settled and emotionally anchored. In contrast, unresolved barriers to connection continue to undermine wellbeing and reinforce feelings of loss and instability.
Sources Referenced
The purpose of the below citations and summaries is to ensure that sources used are clear and accessible. Web links to the sources are provided, where possible.
Document summaries are provided for any document where analysis produced more than ten ‘coded segments’. ‘Coded segments’ refer to portions of a document that analysts identified and labelled as relevant to the key themes for each Vision Statement.
All documents that have informed the development of the Vision Statement, even if they had fewer than 10 coded segments, are cited in the ‘Additional Sources’ box below.
This report, published by AFKA Scotland, presents an evaluation of Siblings Reunited (STAR), a service supporting separated brothers and sisters in the care ‘system’ to maintain relationships through shared time together. The evaluation sought to understand what STAR achieves, how it operates, areas for improvement, and transferable learning for similar services. Methods included observations, surveys, an arts-based activity with children, a volunteer focus group, and interviews, and analysis of STAR’s policies and referral materials.
STAR provides a dedicated, non-statutory space (a farm-like setting) where siblings can meet in a relaxed environment. The service has a consistent group of long-standing volunteers, a wide range of flexible and inclusive activities, and a physical environment that supports play and emotional safety. The service also benefits carers and professionals by managing the planning of sibling meetings and offering carers space to connect during sessions.
Overall, the report highlights STAR as an effective, child-centred model for supporting sibling relationships in care, with clear lessons for practice emphasising safety, consistency, separation from statutory systems, flexibility, and attention to the emotional and physical ‘feel’ of the environment. They provide clear recommendations within their report for anyone wanting to create a similar service.
The evaluation also identifies several areas for development. These include reviewing the referral process to increase access for children in kinship and residential care, improving facilities for year-round use, and strengthening recording and documentation practices. Given STAR’s growth and current reliance on volunteers and donations, recommendations are made for longer-term funding and administrative support.
Process Evaluation of Siblings Reunited (STAR): Final Report. Association for Fostering, Kinship and Adoption (AFKA) Scotland, 2023. https://www.standupforsiblings.co.uk/2023/12/20/star-siblings-reunited-project-evaluation/.
This article, written by Mary Morris, Team Manager at the Care Inspectorate, and published in the Scottish Journal of Residential Child Care, explores how residential childcare services in Scotland are improving support for siblings. It was written to highlight the positive changes happening in the sector, particularly in response to the promise report from February 2020. The promise identified that being separated from siblings was a major negative consequence for children in care and called for radical changes to ensure children can stay with or connected to their brothers and sisters.
The article explains that new legislation and guidance, like the Looked After Children (Scotland) Amendment Regulations (2021), are strengthening children's rights to maintain sibling relationships. Residential workers are now actively promoting these bonds, with examples showing siblings being placed together and staff organising fun activities like fishing trips and holidays to create lasting memories. The aim is to move away from formal meetings and instead foster natural, supportive connections. Examples show siblings being placed together and enjoying fun, meaningful experiences like holidays.
The document also stresses the importance of addressing practical barriers, such as transport and staffing, to ensure these rights are met. It acknowledges that many children in care have experienced trauma, and skilled residential staff are crucial in helping them navigate complex emotions and repair fractured relationships. The article concludes by calling for greater recognition of this vital work, emphasising that the residential sector plays a leading role in keeping the promise to care experienced children.
Morris, Mary. “Seldom Seen Sibling Support: Exploring the Changing Experiences of Siblings in Scottish Residential Childcare Services.” Scottish Journal of Residential Child Care 21, no. 2 (2022).
This report, published by Coram, details the evaluation of Coram’s Sibling Time Activity Day pilot. Funded by the Hadley Trust, the report aims to assess the effectiveness and impact of this new service, which provides a safe and supportive environment for looked-after or adopted children to connect with their siblings.
The Sibling Time Activity Day, piloted in Leicestershire in August 2023, brought together separated siblings for a three-hour session of child-led free play and supported activities. Parents and carers received training life story work, while professionals facilitated the sibling activities. The evaluation used various methods, including observations, interviews, and feedback forms, to understand the experiences and perceived impacts of the day.
Findings indicate a largely positive experience for all participants. Children enjoyed the activities and the chance to see their siblings, often for the first time in a long while. Parents and carers appreciated the structured environment and professional support, which helped manage potential anxieties. Professionals found the day rewarding and felt more confident in facilitating sibling contact going forward. The event showed promise in fostering sibling relationships and increasing confidence among adults in supporting these connections.
However, the report highlights the need for sustained contact, as a one-off event could lead to emotional challenges if not followed up. Recommendations include providing more tailored activities for different age groups, enhancing memory-making opportunities, refining communication with parents and carers about future events, and collecting more extensive data for future evaluations. The total cost for running the pilot event was approximately £5,000.
Jones, Lucas, Emily Blackshaw, Mia Johnson, Narendra Bhalla, and Amaka Udeagbaja. Sibling Time Activity Day Pilot: Evaluation Report. Coram Institute for Children, 2024. https://www.coram.org.uk/resource/sibling-time-report-april-2024/.
This report was written by a team of researchers from the University of Stirling, Lancaster University, and the Association for Fostering, Kinship and Adoption (AFKA) Scotland. It was funded by the Nuffield Foundation and an anonymous donor.
The report was written to understand how children who needed care in Scotland are doing as they grow up. It looks at what helps them feel safe and settled, and what makes a difference to their lives. The main goal is to share what was learned to help improve rules and practices for children, their families, and the people who look after them. It builds on an earlier study (Phase 1) that looked at these children when they were younger.
The study followed 1,836 children who needed care when they were five years old or younger in 2012-13. It explores where these children are living ten years later, how well they are doing, and what connections they have with important people in their lives. The report uses different kinds of information, including official records, surveys, and interviews with children, their carers and birth parents, to get a full picture of their experiences.
Whincup, Helen, Linda Cusworth, Maggie Grant, et al. Permanently Progressing? Building Secure Futures for Children: Phase 2 Middle Childhood. Key-Findings from Phase 2: final report. University of Stirling, 2024. https://permanentlyprogressing.stir.ac.uk/key-findings-from-phase-2-final-report-and-accessible-summaries/.
This report was published in June 2023 by the National Implementation Group, a body comprising members from the Scottish Government, Centre for Excellence for Children’s Care and Protection (CELCIS), and various other Scottish organisations involved in children's services. Its purpose is to summarise the group's work, progress, and future priorities to ensure siblings with care experience in Scotland remain together and connected.
The report highlights that despite existing laws, many siblings in the care ‘system’ are still separated, leading to profound lifelong consequences. Legislative changes in 2020 and 2021 aimed to strengthen children's rights to maintain sibling relationships. The National Implementation Group was formed to support these changes, establishing four working groups focused on learning, infrastructure, legal matters, and data. These groups were informed by the experiences of care experienced children and young people.
The document outlines five priority areas: people, culture and practice; connections and staying connected; rights; housing; and understanding impact and lived experience. It acknowledges challenges like workforce shortages and housing crises but identifies tangible actions for immediate, medium, and longer-term implementation. These actions include raising awareness, developing a relationship-mapping tool, clarifying legal terminology, and reviewing housing allocation policies to prioritise sibling groups. The report emphasises the need for collaboration and strong leadership from the Scottish and Local Governments to achieve these aspirations.
Abell, Dawn, and Heather Ottaway. Staying Together and Connected: Getting It Right for Sisters and Brothers - National Implementation Group Final Report. Final Report. Scottish Government, 2023. https://www.gov.scot/binaries/content/documents/govscot/publications/independent-report/2023/06/siblings-staying-together-connected-national-implementation-group-executive-summary-report/documents/staying-together-connected-national-implementation-group-final-report/staying-together-connected-national-implementation-group-final-report/govscot%3Adocument/staying-together-connected-national-implementation-group-final-report.pdf.
Staying Connected looks at the experiences of children and young people who have been in care and have a brother or sister in prison or secure care. The report aims to understand how often this happens, what it means for children, and what helps or makes it harder for brothers and sisters to stay in touch.
Interviews were undertaken with children and young people, social workers and Children’s Reporters to hear about their experiences. Additionally, records from the Children’s Hearings system and Families Outside were looked at to see how many children had a sibling in prison. Findings indicated that some children in care do have siblings in prison, but this information is not always recorded clearly. Many children had already been separated from their brothers and sisters before prison, often because they lived in different places. As such, relationships often needed to be rebuilt rather than simply maintained.
Being separated from siblings was very upsetting for many children. Staying in touch was often difficult because of long travel distances, high travel costs, emotional stress, and the rules inside prisons. Sometimes adults controlled whether siblings could see each other—although having a supportive adult, such as a social worker or youth worker, helped children stay connected. Video calls and child-friendly visits were also helpful when they were possible. The report recommends better record-keeping, clearer sharing of information, more support for families, help with travel costs, and making sure children understand their rights to have contact with their brothers and sisters.
Deacon, Dr Kirsty. Staying Connected: Care experienced Children and Young People with a Sibling in Prison or Secure Care. Scottish Children’s Reporter Administration (SCRA), 2023. https://www.scra.gov.uk/2023/12/staying-connected-research-published/.
Who Cares? Scotland—a national independent membership organisation for care experienced people, dedicated to supporting, empowering and amplifying the voices of Scotland’s care community—provided targeted analysis of their existing evidence for The Promise Story of Progress, sharing material that mapped to the relevant vision statements and contributed insight into how their internal data, participation activity, and qualitative evidence could inform the experiential strand of the Promise Story of Progress.
Their reports reflected advocacy work carried out between 1st January 2020 and 30th June 2025, during which time Who Cares? Scotland advocacy workers supported around 4,800 individuals. Although the report findings do not represent the experience of every care experienced individual in Scotland, they highlight issues that need continued attention as Scotland works to understand what is changing and what still needs to be addressed.
An anonymised and abridged collation of these reports is available at: Who Cares? Scotland. The Promise Story of Progress: Vision Statement advocacy reports by Who Cares? Scotland (abridged). The Promise Scotland, 2025. https://www.plan2430.scot/media/r0jiy2pl/2025-12-17-the-promise-story-of-progress-vision-statement-advocacy-reports-by-who-cares-scotland_abridged.pdf
Aberdeen City Council, Champions Board of West Dunbartonshire Council, The City of Edinburgh Council, Future Pathways, Social Work Scotland, and Who Cares? Scotland. Accessing Records in Scotland: What People with Care Experience Tell Us about the Right of Access. Social Work Scotland, 2024. https://socialworkscotland.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/RTA-LONGFORM-REPORT-15-12-23-1.pdf.
CELCIS. “Family Pictures on the Wall and a Strong Sense of Self Growing up in Kinship Care”. 2025. https://www.celcis.org/knowledge-bank/search-bank/blog/family-pictures-wall-and-strong-sense-self-growing-kinship-care.
Cross Border Thematic Review: July 2024. Care Inspectorate, 2024. https://www.careinspectorate.com/index.php/news/7674-cross-border-thematic-review.
Ellis, Sioned, and Natalie Williams. State of the Nation’s Foster Care: Spotlight on Scotland Report 2024. The Fostering Network, 2025. https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/policy-and-campaigns/state-of-the-nations/state-of-the-nations-foster-care-2024/.
Whincup, Helen, Linda Cusworth, Maggie Grant, et al. Permanently Progressing? Building Secure Futures for Children: Phase 2 Middle Childhood. University of Stirling, 2024. https://permanentlyprogressing.stir.ac.uk/key-findings-from-phase-2-final-report-and-accessible-summaries/.